nothing ..!

2010-11-26T18:15:00.002+08:00

NEGLECTED.

I HAVE ENOUGH!! If you people don't consider me as one of you guys, then tell me straight into my face! why do you people just don't inform me about ANY thing that is happening around there?! is not that i don't want to be there, i'm having my attachment! PEOPLE! attachment+study! you can tell me is no big deal! but it's a hell out of a BIG DEAL to me! i was once very proud to be in there, but now, everything is different. i see the true faces of you people. i feel like stabbing myself! so badly!

"nothing makes me happy now.

nothing.

i feel so empty.

from within.

but still.

i need to fake the smile.."

2010-11-17T15:38:00.002+08:00

MY INCREDIBLE MEET WITH YOU.

come to think of it, meeting you in my life is indeed incredible! you entering into my life as a stranger, then found out you're my senior. the journey is fun and amazing! i think we're now closer than just strangers? after that day i posted something on my fb, everything changed. seeing you became a little awkward, and with a tiny bit of excitement.

i'm like this song. i'm always so nervous when we walk pass each other. my heart will skip a beat! it's so incredible! i thought this will only happen in movies, but i finally felt it! i wish to hold your hand and walk down the street, proudly announcing you're mine! :)

2010-10-09T15:52:00.002+08:00

THE OPERATION IS OVER! :)

i know.. it's been a long wait, but finally is over! i went to have it cut away! now i understand i have to face some things myself, and it's really true. when you're lying on the operation theater, it's you and the doctor, nobody else. sometimes believing a doctor is really essential. He's really handsome, anyway! every time i see him, i'll always say this! :)

Heard the news that you break up with your girl, sometimes i don't know whether i am to be happy. maybe i shouldn't at all.

2010-10-03T19:16:00.002+08:00

2010-09-25T00:11:00.001+08:00

COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS.

Since i put my heart to it and everything is being scheduled already, there's no turning back. No matter how much i fear to go in, I know I'm the only one that can bring myself together. Who's not afraid to go for operation? no matter how strong I may appear, I really fear from within. I know is a minor operation, but I don't know why the fear is snowballing everyday as the day is getting closer.

I faced it once before, by myself. I went there myself and got in the theater myself. probably back then I wasn't that afraid after all. but now, it's different. I experienced it once and the sound, the loneliness and the fear, it's unbearable! Especially the sound, it still send creeps into me in the night.

this is something that I have to face it myself, and I don't regret. This is to make me into someone stronger and independent. I have to conquer this myself. I'll be able to do it, won't I? I Believe myself and the doctors.

p.s: the doctor is really handsome and nice. his electric eyes sent me to the fantasy land. x-factor: he's not one of those old doctors! he's in my league. :)

2010-09-12T00:15:00.002+08:00

I'M CONFUSE!

i like guys that don't smoke; you do. i like guys who are taller; you're almost some height. i like guys that don't really drink; you drink too much. you have all the qualities that i don't want in men. but i have fallen for you, so badly!

i don't know what's happening to me! i thought i get rid of you from my brain, but you came back! my hardwork that i put in, had just vanish into thin air. you have a girlfriend, so i pushed you away. why do i got suck back into you!? staring at you playing your phone, texting your girl. i got so motionless then. we are so close yet so far.

i'm not going to think anymore! i just want you to be happy, and me to be happy!

2010-09-01T01:48:00.006+08:00

HIM..

everyday, i dream of him. everyday, i wish for him. everyday, i wish to be with him. everyday, i wish to be his girl. everyday, i wish to be his wife. that's my everyday.

you can say i'm silly, i'll admit that. i don't even really know him. i never spoken to him. but how much i wished for him, it's just too much, isn't it? i study so hard is also partly for him. i want to be a girl that has equal or close to equal intelligence level as him. i want to relate to him.

in the past, i never believe love at first sight. but now i know.. so clearly and vividly how it feels. the moment i saw you a year back, you caught my eye, so strong that i couldn't free myself since then. i really like you. i know you knew it long ago. i don't know what to do!

2010-09-01T01:21:00.002+08:00

SOME THOUGHTS THAT CAME IN..

i'm thinking.. what kind of friends that i actually have? then i came to realize, they'll only find you when they have problems. so why bother about them at all? i don't know. probably is i didn't make the effort to maintain the friendship at all, that's why. but if you know me well, like how Janet and Ruby do, you should know that i prefer to live in my own world!

some of them don't really talk to me or what, we're just normal friends, they bother to make an effort to celebrate my smallest birthday. i cried at that very moment in my life, both because i'm happy and sad. happy because they made it to celebrate and prepare all the things for me. sad because.. i don't think i need to elaborate anymore.

don't talk about all the sad things! my birthday was a blast! DEFINITELY!! with the spsu people that came and dine and have fun with me! dinner was fantastic, because we went to a Korean restaurant! they still went to search for the restaurant! i'm so touched! i want to thanks Jason, WanTing, MeiYin, Freida, Leon, JiaHao, JingTing, ZhenHui and Soon Chyun! Love them so very much!

Oh Ya! i'll never forget what my husband did for me for my birthday! even though he wasn't there to celebrate with me, but he gave me somethings. things that were maybe not very significant, but it's really extremely important to me! the bracelet he gave me, i'll wear it everyday! I LOVE HIM FOREVER!!

i'll never forget about Ruby! she celebrated with me on Sunday! totally miss her like crazy! we talked, laughed and had lots of fun! i helped her to find a new dating spot too! :)

August is always the blissful month! cause i got to bump into him like almost everywhere! a bit to over! but i get to see him when i thought i won't. his presence made my life double blissful!

2010-08-05T13:16:00.002+08:00

SELF OBSESSION.
sometimes, it's really nice to take photos of myself. it gives me time to appreciate myself and love myself. definitely cheer up by looking at myself. how long have it been since the last time you really look and appreciate yourself?
the fact is, i'm really tired. tired of everything. drinking coffee is my endless dark hole! i want to stop, but how? coffee, i drink, and realise how awake i am, i start to think. coffee, doesn't work on me anymore. i'll still fall asleep no matter what i take.
the truth is i can't forget about you. the moment i see you, my mind start to go wild. on the other hand, i see your girl with you, i'm happy for you. i think i'm insane! how can this two issues co-exist? in the past, i hoped you were mine. now? it remains the same. plus one more, i hope you're happy with her. otherwise, i'm going to take you away from her.

2010-07-29T01:35:00.002+08:00

DOUBTING.
i don't know why do i start to doubt myself. doubting myself why do i be so persistent when you don't give a damn?! doubting myself why can i say you're my BFF when i don't even think i can communicate with you well. doubting myself why do i believe that you will sincerely treat me as one. doubting myself how can i act so calm and peaceful when i meet up with you. doubting myself how in the first place i can forgive you after all you had done to me. lastly, doubting myself why do i have this little tinny weeny hope and faith in you.
i believe, back when i was in primary school, i can proudly say that i don't have much friends, strictly speaking, i don't have. back then i was happy, because i am myself. i behaved in the way i am, lived the way i am. you must be thinking, i'm an introvert? maybe i can say, yes? i don't know.
as i start to grow up, i started to care how people look at me, how people think about me. i started to change, change to someone who is visually sociable and friendly. i try my best to fit in to this system. i try to fit in to this environment. no matter how i tried, i may look like i fitted in, in fact, i'm not. visually, i do have lots of friends. which one can i really talk to?
to you, i have no other words. i just want you to be frank. if you don't want to meet up, just tell me. if you're scare of me, just tell me. i wish you can share things with me. start to treat me as one of your friends. friends that you talk to. i know, i'm not such a nice looking friend that you can proudly show off. i don't have much talents that you can brag about. i'm just me. if you want to talk to me, tell me. i'm always there.

2010-07-16T17:09:00.004+08:00

2010-07-07T00:37:00.002+08:00

I'M DELIGHTED SEEING MY APPLE EYE TODAY!
it was a coincident. i really didn't know he was going to use the lab i'm using. i didn't know his class was my cause to change labs. but yes! i'm happy for the beautiful incident! seeing him just makes my day! wishing to bump into him everyday becomes my daily routine. but to what i wished, i only get to see him like once a week or none? sad, isn't it? but just seeing him can make me happy for the entire week! it's definitely enough for me!
suddenly got the urge to hug Fa'iz now. i want to hug him and cry out all my sadness and pressure. i.. going to go crazy soon. or should i say i'm already crazy!
meeting Ruby later to dine with her. she's going to clear all my doubts! (:

2010-07-03T13:36:00.002+08:00

FOOD POISONING DAYS
these few days is like one of the worst phase of life i can have. once my stomach feels uncomfortable, my whole body will feel super uneasy! i really don't like it this way. i lied on the bed for days, rolling around to make it better. the food i eat, i'm extremely careful now! i don't eat anything heavy now, everything is light and lighter, like porridge, or soup. probably, you'll think i slimmed down, i'm not sure too. (:
monday was AGM for SPSU. it was great. at least it went on as planned and nothing big crocked up or something. i was totally freaked out when i need to talk! OMG!! i said all the things i need to, hope it sounds okay and fine. (:

"As about you, i think my love for you will be kept as a secret. i don't want to spoil the relations that we have build these 1plus years. i don't want the whole world to change, stay as it is now. i can't imagine the consequences that applied. i just want the both of us to live as now, and enjoy the presence of each other. lastly, i don't want history to repeat.. you can say i lack of courage and confident, but i don't want to experience what i had 1year back. you brought me out of my disaster period and now i'm happily living. Thank you! I Love You! <3">

詞：施人誠曲：李雙飛　

是有過幾個不錯對象
說起來並不寂寞孤單
可能我浪蕩讓人家不安
才會結果都陣亡

我沒有什麼陰影魔障
妳千萬不要放在心上
我又不脆弱何況那算什麼傷
反正愛情不就都這樣

我沒有說謊我何必說謊
妳懂我的我對你從來就不會假裝
我哪有說謊請別以為妳有多難忘
笑是真的不是我逞強

我好久沒來這間餐廳
沒想到已經換了裝潢
角落那窗口聞得到玫瑰花香
被妳一說是有些印象

我沒有說謊我何必說謊
妳知道的我缺點之一就是很健忘
我哪有說謊是很感謝今晚的相伴
但我竟然有些不習慣

我沒有說謊我何必說謊
愛一個人沒愛到難道就會怎麼樣
別說我說謊人生已經如此的艱難
有些事情就不要拆穿

我沒有說謊是愛情說謊
它帶妳來騙我說渴望的有可能有希望
我沒有說謊祝妳做個幸福的新娘
我的心事請妳就遺忘

2010-06-26T01:29:00.002+08:00

EPIC FAILURE FOR SUN GAZING!
we were suppose to meet up with Janet, Kim and Andrina to do some sun gazing! but in the end, it started pouring the moment i wake up! and things at home.. don't want to say it all. i reached only around two plus in the noon. by then the sun wasn't visible yet. all of us were so tired and fell asleep. so typical of us! we watched music bank together! laughed our lungs out at certain parts, it's such a wonderful time with them!
when they were talking about the class gathering thing, it was so funny! the way the phrase and all. suddenly i realise something, no matter how much you know the person will not turn up for the event, it's only polite to just ask. some things is just basic manners, and common sense. don't assume all the things you know to stay the way the always are. only a few people turn up and said it as class outing? what a joke! probably the maths teacher didn't teach you well on proportions. (sorry to offend anyone. i'm just saying my piece here. you can don't agree on it.)

2010-06-24T01:25:00.002+08:00

CHUMBAWAMBA! (:
today, i had my family outing! really is outing, cause we went out. that's besides the point! we played bowling! i swear is hilarious! you can just laugh all the way just watching! my bowling skills just suck! bowling made my nails go crazy! but for my kids sake, i did still play! then we went to arcade to fulfill our childhood! Haikal and Leon played para para, the dancing machine?! that moment, watching my husband dancing on that machine, it was extreme funny! we went to burger king for dinner and went to esplanade to talk! the talking session was just outburst of laughter! with my kids around, it's just pure fun and fun! all of them got their dad's genes!
to my husband:
"our kids are so sweet! ain't they?! the poster they did for us! i went home crying when i was reading the notes written by them! i bet you're touched too?! don't you!? i must really thank god for having you have my husband. the happiness and everything you given me was really good! I LOVE YOU!!"

"it was really nice to see you today! i know i was hoping to see you, and i thought i wouldn't, but still i did! just standing beside you, without talking anything, it's already a blessing to me!"

2010-06-23T02:02:00.002+08:00

PINK NAILS!
i painted my nails pink! first, i don't even know i have pink nail polish, cause they're my mum's! second, i do have pink, but they look too dry to me. now my beautiful nails are coated with pink! it's like so LONG since i painted my dearest nails, i'm so happy i have the time to do them today! i have been sleeping too much these days. to the extend that i can't fall asleep in the night! my whole day and night is upside down! i tried to wake earlier, but i ended up falling asleep after reading my books. i really must plan my days well, till every minute of them is occupied!

"missing you became part and parcel of my life. every single moment, i'm guessing who's the one you love, but i'll never get the answer to it. i'm really afraid of telling you the truth, i'm afraid you'll go away from me. probably keeping inside me is enough. i should be satisfied with what i have now, i shouldn't ask for more. but.. when it comes to you, i want to have everything. i want to know everything. i want you! the song below is just what i'm feeling. "

作詞：施人誠作曲：周杰倫

我知道故事不會太曲折
我總會遇見一個什麼人
陪我過沒有了她的人生
成家立業之類的等等

她做了她覺得對的選擇
我只好祝福她真的對了
愛不到我最想要愛的人
誰還能要我怎樣呢

我愛的人不是我的愛人
她心裡每一寸都屬於另一個人
她真幸福幸福的真殘忍
讓我又愛又恨她的愛怎麼那麼深
我愛的人她已有了愛人
從他們的眼神說明了我不可能
每當聽見她或他說我們
就像聽見愛情永恆的嘲笑聲

她做了她覺得對的選擇
我只好祝福她真的對了
愛不到我最想要愛的人
誰還能要我怎樣呢

我愛的人不是我的愛人
她心裡每一寸都屬於另一個人
她真幸福幸福的真殘忍
讓我又愛又恨她的愛怎麼那麼深
我愛的人她已有了愛人
從他們的眼神說明了我不可能
每當聽見她或他說我們
就像聽見愛情永恆的嘲笑聲

每當聽見她或他說我們
就像聽見愛情永恆的嘲笑聲

2010-06-20T01:12:00.002+08:00

MY CHANCES ARE CONFIRM ZERO!
he gave me a night that i couldn't forget. we sat the same bus, we listened to the same music by his music player, he walked me to my house. that's enough. enough for me to survive in my memory. enough for me to feel happy and content. i wanted to hug you when we depart, but i didn't. in my life, the thing i lack most is courage. when you left, i wanted to shout to you. since i didn't, i shall do it here.

"I LOVE YOU! BE MY BOYFRIEND,OKAY?"

probably all my choose to believe are just my one sided thinking. i just confirmed it. not in the way that i went to asked him, but it's the things he said to the others, and the way he acted. even though i know the girl is not me, but i still wish him all the best with the one he choose.
OKAY! the truth is: i can't take it! why the person isn't me? (i knew it long ago) but the truth is always so hurtful! i.. my love wouldn't stop there. it'll go on and on, i'll slowly let go too, i don't wish to be your burden.

幫妳記得(電影生命最後一個月的花嫁指定曲)
作詞：姚若龍
作曲：張簡君偉

妳的眼睛　會寫信　投遞到我最內心
妳的髮梢　妳的背影　都有表情
愛妳　多渴望　能形影不離　用生命紀錄妳

看陽光陪你醒來　像夢境
妳讓我相信　奇蹟會降臨
在平凡的事　妳在就開心
每一秒鐘　　都變一幅美景

妳想要散心　不要自己去　讓我牽著妳去
不想説秘密　我們就假裝忘記

要幫妳好好記得　加勇氣　妳像彩虹
很努力　總在雨後　馬上燦爛撥散了雲
太逞強　會累積　　心不能喘息　讓我擁抱妳

要幫妳好好記得　鋪暖意　讓妳走的
是綠地不能忍受一絲痛苦在妳眼裡
妳手太冷冰　貼在我臉上　我來燃燒生命

在月下騎車　在屋頂談心　在人群裡走近
是愛讓小事　變成蔓延的回憶

看陽光陪你醒來　像夢境
妳讓我相信　奇蹟會降臨
在平凡的事　妳在就開心
每一秒鐘　　都變一幅美景

要幫妳好好記得　鋪暖意　讓妳走的
是綠地不能忍受一絲痛苦在妳眼裡
妳手太冷冰　貼在我臉上　我來燃燒生命
夜裡　有恐懼睡在我臂彎會平靜

2010-06-19T03:07:00.003+08:00

I'M BACK TO SINGAPORE!
i'm back! after taking a break in Kuala Lumpur for 4days! it was definitely a pleasant trip. the place we stayed was like a condo, which is near the town area. all i have to do is to walk for awhile, i'll reach all the various malls. seriously, i appreciate the toilets in Sing! i admit i'm a cleanse freak, but the toilets there are just.. not all that BAD, but one is enough to spoil the whole thing! i tried the Thai massage too! it was so amazing and painful for me! it's really comfortable at some points, but some were so pain that you want to scream! i did scream for a part, which is when the lady cracked my back! it was so POWERFUL! after that i was feeling so damn good and moving so well! really must thank her! i just enjoy the days with my cousins and aunt! they really took care of me like i'm their family; which i am their family! with the walking and seeing and experiencing, i'm really more relieve and stress free now. i'm recharged! for my days to come, i'm prepared, somehow! going to watch Karate Kid later!
i dreamt of you on the first night when i'm there. they said, if you dreamt of the person, it's because he's thinking of you. i chose to believe it, and i hope it's real and it's because you miss me. when i was thinking of you, your text came in, i was delighted! i thought: maybe we have some connections. i chose to believe. i choose to believe i'm the girl you miss, the one in your heart. in this way, i'm happier. but i know all these choose to believe, it's all imagination.. i wish for imagination to come true: i want you to be mine.

2010-06-15T01:59:00.002+08:00

I MISS YOU!
i don't know what i'm thinking. really! how can i not realise what's around me?! i don't know whether this is what they term as you like a person. i'm happy when i'm with you. how can i not realise it until now! when we were at the bus stop, i hold on to your shoulders, asked you to block someone for me. i felt so protected, i felt the huge sense of security! i felt so comfortable with you around me, because i know you'll protect me! we went up the bus, i stood beside you. at that point, i have the urge to just lean on you! in the end, i didn't. cause i know both of us are neither ready. sitting beside you during dinner was just splendid! i think i'm insane! looking at you being so frustrated by all your problems, it made me so tremendously sad! my mind is all you! how i wish i could share your burdens for you.
i know you still have someone in your heart, i'll wait. wait for the day that you can let go of her. then it will be the right time that i move in. i want to be the one that walk through all the happiness; sadness; troubles with you. will you accept me? actually i know the answer, it'll be a no...

2010-06-14T02:26:00.002+08:00

HELLO! :)
it's really a LONG time since i update! probably i'm too busy with all the reports/group assignments/projects/tests/tutorials. i probably live through the days back then. nothing much, just i feel more closer to my classmates, even though is just hi and bye!
i'm done with my tests and all! currently enjoying my beautiful holidays. holidays is the time when i can sit still and see time go pass. sounds ridiculous? i just need time to 'air' myself, to refresh myself.
i had been so busy till i didn't even have time to meet my friends! I MISS THEM!
-Ruby Gan Mei Hwa!
-Vivian Liew Wen Qi
-Koh Zi Ying
-Gladys Tan Su Ping
-Fa'iz Selamat
-Akasha
-Quek Mei Yin

... and the list goes on. i don't know whether i can meet all of them in this two week short break.

later going to have council meeting! i don't know whether i'm REALLY prepared to go. i don't know what awaits me. all sounds so scary and scary! i don't know what i'm talking anymore. hope it runs smoothly and with good atmosphere.

2010-05-25T00:51:00.002+08:00

WHEN I'M ALONE..
i always say this: i don't mind going home alone. i don't mind walking around alone. i can handle this myself. go home! i can go home alone! bye!
actually deep in me, i'm not okay. i don't know why do i say i'm okay when i'm usually not. who am i bluffing? everyone! i don't like people to worry about me. whenever i feel troubled, i don't know who to turn to now. everyone is so busy, i don't want to bother them at all. so i bottled it all down. time will make everything go well, plus i don't really matter that much. without me, it's not a difference, it won't stop the working of the world. i don't wish to be people's burden, cause having me as a burden, it's way too heavy.
at the same time, i need someone by my side. i want someone to lean on when i'm tired, when i'm restless. i want someone to talk to me all the random stuff that happen in life. i want someone to cheer me up.
i don't know what has loneliness has turn me into. it force me to think about lots of stuff, till my small little brain is bursting. i don't know. today, when i'm on the train myself, i started to tear. then i smiled to myself, and wiped it all off. silly, isn't it?
you must be thinking? i have lots of friends, don't i? but when i was thinking who to talk to, i don't know who to talk to; to confine to. isn't it funny? i'm such a loser!
i'm disconnecting with this world. deep down in me, i feel so empty. so empty to the extent that i'm like a puppet! a puppet being controlled by the environment. why? why do i feel this?
i breath the air of this Earth, but i don't feel that i exist on this Earth.

2010-05-23T14:39:00.001+08:00

22 May 2010: MY FIRST OFFICIAL DATE!
yesterday, i went for my first date ever! you want to know who asked me? i don't want to say, cause it's a secret! we did everything that a dater will do. went to walk around, watch movie: Shriek, and ate dinner. the movie was definitely a great one! we watched it in 3D! it's damn awesome! after the movie, we went to walk around the Singapore river. talking every random things that happened in our life! it's a nice talk with him, and it's damn romantic. he sent me home despite he was damn tired after the day. SO SWEET! :)
he's one of the nicest guy i've ever met. he's a gentleman which is rare in this society already. he's close to everything i want in a guy. he's just damn AWESOME!

2010-05-15T15:00:00.002+08:00

BEING SICK
this is what i don't desire the most. i hate this part of life! but i have to accept, it's part and pascal of my life. being sick brings me back to my most fragile self. the self that you don't want anyone to see it at all. it's too weak. i'm like back to a baby when i'm sick. i whine; i don't talk. i scream; i don't talk. nobody understands when i'm sick. that's the more i don't want anyone to see me when i'm sick, cause i'm a totally different self.
every time when i'm sick, it brings me back to the basics of life. why do i push myself so hard till i fall sick and damage all the organs in my body? sometimes i grumble, why am i born so weak? why am i so subset able towards all the invasion of bacteria and virus? then i came to understand that, actually heaven is giving me a chance to know myself better! doesn't make sense to you? cause it'll only make sense to me. it's uniquely my thinking.

2010-05-12T00:06:00.002+08:00

MY SCHOOL DAYS SO FAR.
i'm so tired now. it's wearing me off soon! not enough sleep and rest. my mind needs to escape. my body needs rest. my brain need to absorb all the knowledge, all the dates, all the assignments. school is too busy! extreme!
i'm just loving being single! no lines attached! people ask: interested in anyone? i'll say no. i'm not prepared to have a partner now. i want to wait till i'm like 21year old or older. i don't think i have the mind and soul to handle love now. all the guys that i'm close with, they're my good friends, nothing more than that. all i want now is to make more friends from different circles, to expand my social life. nothing more and nothing less. my principal still stands: Love actually is in my heart.

2010-04-28T19:37:00.002+08:00

being neglected.
i have no idea why do i label this, but i do have to say. some times, being neglect is like the norm to me already. actually is not some times, it's always! being neglect by people, by friends, by classmates, by siblings, by parents. perhaps i'm just the girl that is always so cheerful and happy, or do i look strong? i'm actually sad when nobody concern about me. even though i know that everyone cares about me. sometimes, you just need someone to tell you that.

2010-04-27T23:00:00.002+08:00

FAMOSOS! :)
i'll miss them so much! just the thought that we won't be able to see each other so much, it just pierce my heart so much! the good old days for the few months, it was a fantatstic moments shared with all. think back on how we met, it was really a miracle and a good meet up! i never thought it would be this fun! and it's Famosos that bring so many laughters and happiness to me! thank you for changing me into a better one! thank you for bringing me to a world that i thought i'll never be in! thank you so much!
i'm really super happy that you guys came into my life! i think people will believe i'm really crying while typing all this! and i'm SERIOUSLY am! i never cried so badly before, even my secondary gradution i also never cry! indeed, i love Famosos more than them! cause what i went through with them is once in a lifetime!

2010-04-25T00:07:00.004+08:00

HOW DO I DEFINE TODAY?
am i supposed to say i'm happy today cause i saw my brother, Amron. or should i say i'm not feeling good cause of my change of mood in the night? ask me why i change in my mood? i don't know why too! i'm changing to the old me! i don't want! i don't want to be the temperate me again! i want to have a control of my anger, my own mood! everyone know the past me, you'll know how bad is that! i don't want to reverse to that state!
sorry to my dearest husband that i scandal with so many guys. i'll be a good girl from now, okay? i'll talk to myself and only the girls. no close contact with the guys.
i enjoyed talking to my brother today! he told me lots of stuffs! it's dam hilarious talking to him! he definitely cheer me up a lot! :)
AND! thank you Fa'iz for making flowers for me every time i see him! seeing the flower just brighten up my moody day!
IMPORTANTLY, both of them said the same thing. they said i'm a optimistic girl! :)

2010-04-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

SOME ANGRY MATTER! ARGH!
it's damn angry! i just wasted my freaking time waiting! (even though i had a chance to talk to other people) but look! my main purpose is to meet you and dine with you! and what bullshit you gave me?! you should bloody hell tell me in advance! i'm like some idiot waiting, and reject all offers! for what!? just to wait for you! i could went home with my friends after lunch! i think i'm like some naive girl that insist to wait for the boyfriend in the rain when she knows he's not going to come?! i'm not that fool, or maybe i am?! i'm just damn angry! can't get over it! stupid and dumb me, why did i just cried?

2010-04-04T13:46:00.002+08:00

IT'S RAINING, CAUSE THE HEAVEN IS UPSET. HOW NAIVE CAN I GET?
everyone says i'm a science person, everything i said is with facts, except this. i truly believe that the heaven will cry. like anyone of us, heaven also has feelings. why will it be upset? maybe he sees us living in misery, maybe he pity us, maybe he wants to send a hint. who knows?
recently, i realise my whole environment had change, and i'm starting to change with it. changing to someone i don't even know where i'll be. there's lots of politics around, sounds complicated? it's already super complicated to me, even i'm not in it. what more for those who're in it? it's really nice to listen to all this, from then i always learn lots of things from it. sincerely, if i have a choice, i wouldn't want to step in at all.
i'm starting to wonder what love actually bring to us. does it bring happiness? does it bring hope? does it bring miracle? or it brings you misery? brings you unhappiness? brings you trouble? i can tell you truthfully, i'm losing love. it's too much bad points that i see, it's way too much. but at the same time, i'm hoping love will befall on me. i want to be the blissful girl.
Am I the one in your heart? I want the answer, but i don't have the courage to find out.

2010-04-01T19:56:00.002+08:00

MY LIVELY DAYS! :)
i'm been so busy that i didn't even realised the time flies. i'm going to start school in two weeks time?! isn't it scary?! i'm so jam packed till i didn't even have the chance to meet my dearest Ruby yet! i miss her like so badly! ARGH! just bear with it.
i'm living my life in extreme happiness with my husband everyday! people, please don't jealous! (L) nobody believes i'm with a malay! get alive! (Y)
my schedule will be superb pack from next week. take a glance of it.
3April - buying materials for Freshman Party
5April - Campers briefing
6April - GL outing to sentosa
7-10April - Freshman Orientation Camp
11April - praying ancestors
13-14April - Freshman Party deco
15April - Freshman Party
17-18April - FOWA camp
19April - School reopens!
seriously, i need to take care of myself now! i can't afford to be ill now. the least is, i'm happy with what i'm doing now, i'm happy! i'm feeling filled again. :)

2010-03-25T00:14:00.002+08:00

have you ever have the feeling of being suppress? but you don't even know the reason why? you feel so empty and you don't know why? even breathing becomes difficult? it's suffocating you? my brain is full of things i can't explain or put into words. it all comes down to the sense, it's the feeling that's making things go the opposite direction. if i'm those people that survive following their brains, i won't be struggling now. breath the air that's around, you will understand. the air around me is just filthy!
why do all the people to be so aggressive? can't things be settled in a peaceful manner? why do people like to push and push? does it really matter of the results and the outcome? or the results that you desire and wish to obtain, are they a higher stake than your friends? think. brain is there for a purpose. strike te balance is the key to all relations. it's just like flying kite.

2010-03-20T23:59:00.000+08:00

I'M MARRIED! :)

yesterday was the marriage ceremony. at first, i was totally freaking out at all moments. it was really a fun experience. they were right! it's a time that you'll never forget for your life! i was married in school. my husband is Haikal! he's so damn sweet, i swear! he sang a song to propose to me! (L) we spent the rest of the night together. i'm a girl that couldn't take any coldness, wasn't able to fall asleep yesterday, so i was awake, thinking of things. i went home in the morning to catch some sleep, and off i went to Andrina's house to play mahjong with Janet, Andrina and XiaoMing! (L) it was total talking than playing, random game. we went to have dinner at sing post with Derrick. the japanese restaurant really sucks! the service is damn bad! i thought of telling them i'm not paying service charge, cause there isn't any service! forget about that. we continue to play and play and looked at the old photos! laughing gas was all around!

specially for DERRICK LEE JIE MIN! i shall post the photo with him(is on FB already). he must take a look man!

2010-03-19T00:13:00.002+08:00

GL OUTING! (L)
i went to Marina Barrage to have my GL outing! i woke up early in the morning to cook my mushroom pasta. thank god they liked it! (Y) i was one of the early birds as usual, so proud of myself! so we waited for all the people to arrive and we sat the shuttle bus there. it started raining the moment we step down the bus! we ran to the shelter and started our picnic! we had lots of fun and lots of food. AND.. lots of photos!! and it's my first kite flying experience with them! i'm so happy! like finally i get to fly the kite! the flying was incredible! I LOVE KITE! :) Nina, WanTing and i went to buy the gifts for our husband. we really search like thoroughly the mall to search for it! it's with significance, which only the husband will know! i'm like going to write a letter for him. SO SWEET, RIGHT!? don't be too touched by the letter! (L)

" i know i'm not the one you're missing. but still, i enjoy the times with
you. it's just the random topics that we talked. it's just those random texts.
it brightens my gloomy day to sunny day! thank you for walking in, and i know
you'll walk away soon. till then, i'll never say goodbye,
cause it's just a goodnight! :) "

i know i'm the part of the memory that you want to delete. no worries! it applies to me too. i can never forgive what you did to me! never! get the picture now?! no matter what you're doing or anything, i just want YOU out of my world! you can come and attack me, no worries! from all directions definitely alright. i'm make of steel, that's what the world trained me into. i don't need you now. all i want is to erase you totally out my memory.

2010-03-13T18:37:00.002+08:00

next week, i'm fully book by all the trainings and trainings. i want to go out! with RUBY!! i want to go and sing my lungs out! i need a place to vent. truthfully, i'm not happy now. tell me! would you be happy even you're so busy, but you feel nothing on the inside? then it's just a skeleton! I DON'T WANT THIS! i need air! i hate people! all people! they're all so hypocrites! they're just boot lickers! thank god i'll have my escape during the coming weekend! i'm skipping town! (:
heaven given me the ability of good six sense, i can foresee the relations. is it good? or is it bad? cause it's making me to build the wall with people..

2010-03-11T01:36:00.002+08:00

RANDOM UPDATES
been missing out in my recent updates. shall update now, cause i have energy now!
i went to the body world exhibitions recently. i swear it's DAMN nice! please don't say i'm a sicko, but all the things there will only make you go "WOAH"! it's all the break down of what's in your body and how your body make up of. it's way too amazing! i took some photos with my classmates, still processing with the photos.

secondly, is my secondary school gathering! it was like donkey years since we met with each other! we had lots of fun together and the photos should be like around 300? i mean the total photos taken, those glamorous, unglamorous, random, duet and group shots. totally had lots of fun reminiscing with them, even though i was like not feeling quite well that day. AND.. i took photo with Derrick! like finally!? after 4 years of classmate with him!
everyone changed a lot, including me. we're just the same shell, different feelings now.

thirdly, which is the best, i met up with Ruby and Vivian! we were updating our lifes and giving our advice to each other! really cherish this kind of frank talks between the three of us! Ruby and i continued our talk and the void deck at Vivian's house. i feel so much better pouring everything in my heart to her! and she understand me! we talked about all the random stuffs and all! and we were complaining how ugly we were in primary school! and how and why people like us back then! totally absurd! i was laughing my intestines out with her! going to have a sleep over at Vivian's house, but i can't sleep over. so i'll just eat dinner with them! going to have our mini cooking session at her house! first attempt! it's going to be fun and total madness! totally looking forward to it!

been going for training these few days. feeling tired but it's really fun to be with them! have to knock out now, have to rise with the sun later!
enjoying texting with you now, even late in the night! :) smiling to sleep!

2010-03-09T16:48:00.002+08:00

back then, i thought you were different from the others, that's why i was wavered with my stand. but actually you're no different from any other guy may be. you're not those in depth and loyal person. now that i went to your blog, then i realised you're as surfaced as any other one. foolish of me to believe what you said. Dammit!

2010-03-02T17:17:00.000+08:00

MY PARENTS
don't know why am i writing about them. i just had the urge to do so. a few days back, i went to pray with my parents. i was having a good time with them. from there, i realised something, something that i think most of us will feel the same. my parents aged a lot! my dad, this year is 60 years old. you people must be thinking, my dad is really old! my dad is still working, and it's something he's not interested in. but he did it for us, for the money. yes, that's what my dad is doing. always see him so tired and all, all i can do is to cheer him up with my special jokes and my good results. my dad has glaucoma, i guess not many people know. it cannot be cured, medication can only slow down the process. and my dad don't have much friends outside, probably is less then 10. you can see that how my father swallow all his misery and unhappiness to himself. suddenly, i think that i like to be alone and have lesser friends, it's in the genes!
my mum, she's 58 this year. incredibly old, right? she definitely don't look that old! that's what the skincare are for, it really works! she's bullied in work, and i can do nothing to it too. i can't go and confront them, don't i? anyway i don't like to confront people, i believe time will show. she do the cleaning at home, but she don't cook, i can understand that. my mum is quite healthy, only that the bulging veins are a threat to her now, it may burst any time! it's really painful to see that, it's all because of giving birth to us that cause her all this!
i love them for who they are, even though some times i bad-mouthed about them. i cherish them, cause they are the only people that are true to you no matter what problem/situations arises. they won't betray you, unlike your friends. they won't back stab you, unlike your colleagues. THEY'RE THE BEST! :)

2010-02-25T23:50:00.002+08:00

MY DARLINGS AND BELOVED.
maybe i have been under isolation for too long or something, i'm starting to miss some people in my life. the feeling of losing is bad, but it's the way to learn. let everything bygone, life will be easier. life without desires, what motivates you? contentment? if people can live in contentment, why is there still so many people living in self misery? desires strikes one to move, cause people to change, to move forward. and all the problem follows: the hurting, the unhappiness, the jealousy. who is able to put it to an end? you!

People i miss:
-Ruby and Vivian
i miss all the talks and crapping and watching the stars with you guys. we must definitely meet during the holidays! IT'S A MUST! :)

- Janet, JiaHui, Kim
i miss the days with you guys too! all the laming and laughing on random stuff! we must go workout during holidays! (Y)

- Gladys & co
i miss watching movie with you people! it's so fun and carefree! and the singing! definitely we must go and sing again! (L)

- SiYing (my twin sister)
i miss you DAMN badly! it's like ages since i seen you! we must continue our high tea and shopping session soon!! must, okay? :)

-Derrick Lee Jie Min
i miss hearing all your stories and all the talks on current affairs with you! we must find time to sit down and drink coffee again with JanetLau!

- Adrian Loh
i know people may get the wrong idea. but i just miss you as my friend! how many donkey years since i'd seen you?! miss talking to you on the phone! till now, you still always call at the wrong moment! if you see this, give me a call?

- DBS peeps!
don't ask me why i miss you guys since i seen you guys back in 6hours? i just miss you guys much! maybe it's the thought that we'll be in different class.. it makes me depress~ i will miss you guys so badly! we must go for singing sessions during holidays! love you guys!

i'm done with all the listing, i guess. there's too many people on mind to continue. now this song below is for all the people that i miss! my dears and darlings! my beloved friends!

2010-02-18T18:47:00.003+08:00

MY RANDOM RANTS.
totally don't know what's in my blood nowadays. it's like boiling every second! any ignite of any kind, will cause my outburst! getting more and more bad tempered from don't know where. i shall go to the 'mountain' to train my inner peace again. definitely cannot allow myself to turn into something like a monster! my inner peace disrupted.

some recent updates of life
- i got into cardiac tech! (Y)
- LNY started and play mahjong everyday. (L)
- got closer with my cousins!
- gained some fats! spoil of plan to diet! DOUBLE work out during vacation!
- my sister graduating.
- start of my miserable exam period.
- my increase in metabolism rate.
- i cut my hair!
- class gathering on 6March (not sure going= still pending)
- I miss Ruby and Vivian!
- i miss JiaHui too!
- i lost the person that i could talk to.
- i lost the person that understands me.
- i realised i'm living in a black world.

AND.. i'm obsessed with Heartbeat-2pm. don't ask me why. my sister is getting more irritated by me day by day by the continuous playing of this song! :)

2010-02-04T11:27:00.002+08:00

I WANT MY CHINESE BACK!
i just realise my chinese standard has drop to the rock bottom! even my friends find it different too. the way i speak chinese now, it's like some kids who take chinese B. OMG!! how can this happen to me?! i took higher chinese in secondary school, get an A1 for chinese! and now? my chinese sucks to the bloody core! now, i urge you people to speak to me in chinese, so i can improve on my chinese and find the fluency again. now on, SPEAK TO ME IN CHINESE!! :)

*i know what you said to me was just playing. i know it wouldn't come true and you wouldn't remember too. what you said really make my day so happy. how i wish my _______ was really you.

2010-01-31T16:16:00.002+08:00

THE GOLDEN JUBILEE DINNER.
yesterday was the event-50th anniversary dinner of students' council. everything went well, people told me that at least. this was my very first attempt to run the event. it's really a brand new experience. i really treasure this very day in my life! i'll always remember this moment in life, cause there wouldn't be any chance of it. i love all the people i worked with. i want to thank all the helpers working at the backstage! if it's not you guys, the event won't run so smoothly. i'm so blessed with all the people around me. sorry that i cried out yesterday. it was a form of relieving stress. :) the 50th council rock on!!

*i realise i'm in love with you. i'm not suppose to, seriously. but i couldn't stop thinking of you.

2010-01-26T14:08:00.002+08:00

I"M FRUSTRATED!!
someone save me from all this misery! i'm so burden now! like serious! i feel like dying this instant! i thought i just pull through this week and i'll be done. but it's not that simple! i just saw my mail to pay my school fees. it's A LOT! i don't know how to tell my parents, they're already trying their best to make ends meet, plus chinese new year round the corner. i don't know how to open my mouth to tell them! even if i start working now, i won't be able to cook up that much money! how?! just kill me! then i don't need to be their burden anymore!
I HATE MYSELF! I WISH TO DISAPPEAR!

2010-01-21T22:47:00.002+08:00

SOME RANDOM HAPPY REALISATION
i'm happy now. i'm really from within feel happy and glad, despite my super packed schedules and deadline to meet. i'm from inside out is happy! i didn't make a wrong choice of joining union. this move of mine totally changed my life around. actually i'm a super shy and introvert girl(i'm still one), but i'm more opened up now. and i'm glad about this. i got to know the council members through the organisation of the jubilee dinner. i'm really glad to have this chance to work with more people! it's really a brand new experience to work with people who are older than me. i learnt lots from them, and they make me feel secure. i never felt this way before! NEVER! first time i feel i'm safe around them, which i never felt this way with anyone before. i feel so protected! maybe they're older, that's why. i'm must have great thanks to Amron, Christie and Leon. they really guide me and talk to me a lot. all the laughter and the jokes, really lighten me up a lot. REALLY! even their casual remarks also make me feel so happy about it! THANK YOU! (L) :) i think what i'm doing now is worth it, cause i have all this exciting and caring people around me!

2010-01-18T16:12:00.000+08:00

2010-01-16T23:25:00.000+08:00

EXHAUSTING BUT EXTREME FUN DAY! (L)
today is fun and exciting and thrilling and happy! i woke up early in the morning to go for GL training. i was slightly late, but i'm not the last one. as i have obsession with cleanness, i cleaned up the room while waiting for others to arrive. i played chinese chess with Leon too! it was like AGES since i played it. ABSOLUTE FUN!! :) after everyone arrived, we started our training! what we did during training? it's PRIVATE and CONFIDENTIAL! we had lunch together too! laughed lots with them, the interaction was nice and splendid! :)
i reached home around three and nap for an hour, went to bath, and out i went to meet Janet. as usual, i was late. so we went town for shopping spree! we walked and shopped and eat! HAPPY!! the prata shop was closed down! the prata there is like so damn nice! what a pity! anyway, had total great fun with her today! we took some photos too! shall upload it tomorrow. it's been so long since the both of us take photos together! we're the BFFs that don't really take photos! no worries at all! i will improve on it! we'll take photos every friday! (Y) and Kim will be in too! the three SP beauties! (L)
OH YA! Catherine will be visiting us too! so we can take lots of photos together! (Y) it's been a while since i see her. can't wait to see her! :)

2010-01-10T15:14:00.003+08:00

MY LIFE OF DARKNESS.
maybe i'm born to live in the world of darkness. ever wonder how my name originate? it was calculated by the fortune teller. he said i was born in life of darkness, my name is to bring in light to my life. (jia is to add; ni represent rainbow, a source of light) it's destined that my life is full of darkness. as years goes by, i came to realise the fact. every year is just increasing dark to my life, it's clouded all my space and hope.
there is always instant that i thought this is not real, cause i felt my life was good and happy, it was full of light and hope. it's all fake! it's just wind blowing by, it was not meant for me! you know how devastated i am? i'm back to my darkness, and the more people i meet, i realise it's really black and dark out there. there's no light for me anywhere! not even a bit! it's always darkly casted or heavy down pour.
i given up, in search for the light in my life. i'd chosen; to live in the darkness of the world. i given up the rights to have feelings of a human long ago.
if you know me REALLY well, you should know what i'm doing, cause it's dedinitely not what you're thinking now.

* i deleted the post already, so don't search for it. sorry to cause disturbance to your life.

2009-12-30T13:54:00.002+08:00

THE OFFICIAL DAY OF PRESENT.
24 December 2009
this is the day that my sister love most! i went out with my sister and friends to sing. we bought log cake and tidbits with us. tell you a little secret, it's the first time i ate a log cake. :) we went to aston for dinner, and bus down to vivo to enjoy our moments with the christmas tree!
love to go out with them! even though they're older than me, but the feeling is nice and nice! i enjoyed their company. :)

29 December 2009
i went to watch 'Alvin and Chipmunks 2' with Gladys, Mindy and Janet. from the point i met them, i didn't stop laughing! the movie was funny! damn funny and the voices of them is.. you know what i'm thinking! :) we went to the food court to have desert. i laughed out my stomach when they were taking photos! it's damn funny! (Y) we went down to sing at teo heng. it's lots of laughter and fun when singing! non-stop happiness for four hours straight! then i bus down with Mindy home. it's always nice to have a friend who stays in the same are as you! (Y)
i realised a point, you must really interact and talk to the person, then you'll know how's the person. but it takes huge courage to take the initial step, and i did it! i learnt to bring myself to stop my assumptions and perceptions - great step to being a better person. going out with them, i'm more carefree and happy, because they brought me joy and fun, not fear. at least i don't have to wear my armour out, it's really tiring.

my dedication.
to you, i don't have any hope on you, not any desire, not anything. you chose the break up, and i respect your decision. i'm fine now, perfectly fine now. i brought myself to this stage too, i anticipated this ending, i don't blame you. thank you for your company for that period of time, i really enjoy it. it'll be kept in my heart forever, in the graveyard in my heart, never to be dig out again. now, i have to continue my journey on my own. my journey to find myself back, and love the person that's in me. i don't want to see you, at least not now. cause i'm afraid that when i look at you, i won't bear to forget you again. so, good bye to you, my love - Heng Qi Ping.

刘力扬 - 礼物

终于可以在今天划上句点
一整夜翻阅过去画面
快想不起我们为何会诀别
只看到那双你送的鞋

走一步又一步
我才发现绕了个圈
走了好几年
又回到原点

你送的礼物会不会太特别
毫不避讳那不安的传言
但渐行渐远习惯到没感觉
难道你早想要我走远

你送的礼物在此刻好体贴
陪我回忆把过往走一遍
穿了这些年难免会有污点
就像每段爱总会有终点

世上最残酷的恐怕是时间
困住人一切却还向前
干涸的眼再挤不出一点咸
爱到如此可悲的境界

走一步又一步
却跟不上你的脚步
你满意了
为什么我却只想要哭

你送的礼物会不会太特别
毫不避讳那不安的传言
但渐行渐远习惯到没感觉
难道你早想要我走远

你送的礼物在此刻好体贴
陪我回忆把过往走一遍
穿了这些年难免会有污点
就像每段爱总会有终点

你说做自己吧
我们都做回自己
不要再为爱受委屈

你送的礼物原来是一场劫
终于分别夙命一样准确
可笑到想要你赔给我时间
爱情有时廉价得可怜

光著脚我一路奔跑
鲜血泪水一路狂飙
收起我的骄傲
承认曾经备受煎熬
鞋上那记号
只有你能明了
过了这一夜
我就全忘掉

2009-12-13T01:29:00.002+08:00

IMPORTANT ISSUE HERE. (this allows me to change the heading for once, this may not concern you. but just think beyond just YOURSELF!)
i'm going to talk about child abuse here. i know you people out there may not experience at all, or you may have, and choose to remain quiet. you can talk to me, i really will extend my help to you.
you may ask, what caught my attention towards this issue. probably is reading too much books and watching programmes about it. i feel them, i know this is weird, i feel how they feel (i never been abuse by my parents/relatives).
i been crying every time i read these books, i really felt them deep inside me. the penetration of the soul; the despair; the hopeless; the helpless; the loneliness; the closeness.
the children are being abuse physically, mentally, sexually, from a extreme young age of 3! get the number? 3!! can you imagine this?! who on this earth will do this? there definitely be! to their own children, to their own blood! how sick can this get?! the children have no choice but to keep mum about it, because normally the abuser will threaten them about to being send away. at that young age, the only thing in your mind is your family, and you wouldn't bear to leave! they live their life with this fear and threat in their heart every single day. the pain when they're abuse, the emotion that is growing bigger and bigger everyday, how can they take it? they close themselves up, this is the only way to protect themselves. a lot of them did managed to survived all this and wrote their experience down and encourage others to step out and stop the abuse.
publishing them out takes a huge courage, to tell people about the 'dirty truth' about your childhood. people, let's reflect on our childhood, we had happy and blissful memories of childhood. compare to them, we're down right blessed!
tell you people something that will hit you even stronger. i was watching 'The Oprah Show' today, got to know about the child pornography. it's really a heart breaking news to me. those kids are being force to do all the disgusting stuff. the adults force their way through in, they are only so young, they're so small, how could this people do this to them?! i don't know what they are thinking.
i know my this little post may not do much help to these poor kids which experience all this, i hope i can at least create some awareness to all the people reading my blog. this is the issue, it's really happening. it's more important than what's going on on the entertainment. this is real! it may not happen to you or around you, but this is real!

2009-10-29T21:57:00.002+08:00

WE'RE NOT FEELING NORM.
so, we're going for LTC tomorrow. we're kinda of feeling not very comfortable about it. maybe it's too long that we last went for camp. the feeling is just not right. we're going camping with the people that we're not close to, people that we know. hias. don't know what got into me! we're supposed to be so happy about it, but.. even though everybody know us as out-going and friendly person, but we're not so open after all. we don't know it too!
we found Shinee's new song, we suppose. the music is nice and the mv is nice too! all of them look look so different now! CUTE!!!

2009-10-27T06:31:00.002+08:00

we're tired.
not only physically, and mentally. we think we're going to suffer from mental breakdown soon. the reasons for it? there's definitely many of them. tonnes and tonnes of them, and most of them, is regarding you. yes, you! we know we're just going stupid all of our life. we're just dumb! like so dumb! we have nothing more to say, except.. we hope you understand what we're doing for you. all the quarrrels are with reasons.
we're too pack this week. too pack. hope we're still functioning.

2009-10-19T19:48:00.003+08:00

REOPEN OF SCHOOL=STUDY!
so, here we are. going to school as per norm again. our timetable is just shit! we seriously don't like the so much of breaks in between! it's going to kill us! we decided to go gym with our classmates every monday during the breaks, cause the breaks are forever so long!
first day of school, must be thinking that there isn't much teaching. you're wrong! we completed one chapter in anatomy and physiology. it's like so damn fast! and maths! we think it's going to drive us crazy!
we need to start reading up on anatomy and physiology! like now! we need to catch up what the others had learn in the two years of biology in secondary back then.
conclusion, we're turning into a NERD! :)
we're going to meet boy tomorrow! happy happy! :D

2009-10-17T01:40:00.002+08:00

THE BLUE BAG AND US. DAY 1 & 2.
so, it may sounds wired, we're writing the days of us with the blue bag. it's the backpack that we bought on wednesday. we had the exact same bag with SiYing, which makes us the forever twin sisters!
thursday, we went to watch movie in the afternoon with sister. couldn't remember what movie was that anyway. the only thing is that the movie was bad. and this is the day we brought blue bag out with us for the first day!
friday, we went to watch movie with our sister again. we catch the "Cloudy with the Chance of Meatball". the movie was damn funny! we went for bbq in the evening. we had lots of fun there. played some games and landed ourselves drinking lots and lots of water!

actually, i feel depress today. i just fought with him in the early morning. and i cried the rest of the morning. it was a terrible feeling. i never think of you? i never thought for you? you're no better than me! if you have thought for me, you wouldn't give me all that shit! if you thought for me, you should know my intention was to make it a point to see you. it's just the world's most simple request, and you just made it the world's hardest quest.

2009-10-14T23:50:00.000+08:00

SHOPPING! TOWN and BUGIS!

2009-10-10T23:55:00.000+08:00

OUR FIRST ANNIVERSARY.
we're officially spent a year together as a couple. HAHAHA!! must be curious how we spent our day? shall disclose it here!
we went to plaza to watch movie. and we chose some sad story! like.. the april bride! it's sad, but it's boring too. then we went for lunch at yoshinoya. both of us feel like shitting after eating that, also don't know the reason why.
we went to east coast park and cycle. finally he knows how to cycle!! happy happy. we'll cycle more next time. then we went to eat ice cream at mac. they don't have the flavour burst there!
of course we went home after that! hahahah! :D

2009-10-09T18:15:00.002+08:00

i didn't realise you'll be gone so soon. i really don't know. by the time i was to realise, you're already gone. i know i'd have no chance of meeting and seeing you again, unless miracle happens. the expression on your face, i'll never forget. the disappointment, the sadness. i really..
the days with you may be short, but it's memorable. i'll never forget the days and time spent with you. if at that moment, i have the courage to tell you, i wouldn't feel so regretful now. all i can do now is to forget, and it takes time.
goodbye to you. i buried you in my memory. i'll never be able to see you again.

2009-10-07T10:50:00.001+08:00

so.. It's been so long since we last update our blog. We'd been working all the while, feeling too tired to do anything that has to do with the net. :) now we're having meeting now. Hias.
Oh ya! Yesterday, there's this korean man that said we look like a korean! Happy happy! So damn happy!
Working is always so tiring! Sincerely dislike working! Don't like! Plus our legs are damn tired and painful!

2009-09-29T00:26:00.002+08:00

I MISS YOU!
hias. we know this is going to be some kind of crap that you people see in other blogs. and.. yes! it's going to be. so just bear with it.
we really miss him! that man! everyone knows that man. don't know why we will feel this way. everyone says it's normal, and i know, it's normal. we love him. love him! love him more that Alonso! love him more than DBSK! love him more than anyone else do. our love are more than any words that can describe. we love him. and miss him!

2009-09-24T01:47:00.002+08:00

UNLUCKY DAY.
today is just so bad. our feet is being ramped/stepped by three times! it's THREE TIMES!! no joke! now our toes are blue-black. pain! PAIN!! ARGH!!
tomorrow, we're going back to secondary school, hope it'll turn out to be good.

2009-09-21T13:26:00.002+08:00

i don't know what got into me. i've been not sleeping well every night, having bad dreams, and i couldn't fall asleep. i hate my life to be like this. they said your dreams depic what your sub-concussion, what you're REALLY afraid of, what you wish for. what had get into me? why am i all of a sudden afraid of losing? why am i afraid of humans now? why do i feel that they will harm me? i'd lost to the world again.
i feel that i lost the meaning of my life. i'm like a zombie living, walking around. i'm sick of this. i'm used to be those people full of dreams and an idealistic person. where is her now? i'm finding her. i know i'm the only one be abe to search for her, to make her return to me.

2009-09-16T13:20:00.002+08:00

PEOPLE! WATCH THIS! LAUGHS!!~

this video is damn f*cking funny! oh my god! we're like laughing non-stop for long! HAHAH!~

2009-09-14T15:59:00.002+08:00

LIFE AND DEATH.
life. it is given by God. God give us our life, brought us to this world. to this ever changing world. therefore, every life is precious.
death. it is taken away by God. God take our life away when we're bound to leave this world. therefore, every life is fragile.
so, what are we left to choose? isn't it? when every one says we always have a choice. since we can't control our birth and our death, so what are we left for us to decide? the answer is that we can choose how we live our life!
every body's wish is to not live their lives nonchalantly. almost everybody wants to live an exciting life. so how do you define as exciting? if we live our life like this, ain't we some skeletons walking around?

2009-09-14T01:01:00.001+08:00

oh my! people said we look like the post slip girl - chen xin yi! do we really look like her?

2009-09-12T13:25:00.002+08:00

LEE HYORI - INSPIRATION
below is the music video of hers - Anystar. this music video is a few years back when she did it for the phone promos. the song is nice, we're hooked up to this song for long! wouldn't believe that we listen it straight for one day already? and it's not the end!
we want to be like her. we see her as what we want to be. the figure, the dance, the voice.

2009-09-12T13:12:00.004+08:00

LEE HYORI - ANYSTAR

Anystar
translation by: Grace (also credit: aheeyah.com)

I think it's all right to go crazy once in a while
So I can do whatever I want, hurry up and choose

Crazy, turn the lights off and gaze upon me
Crazy, stop all the games
Slowly, open your eyes and gaze upon me
Tonight, I am your Anystar

How the hell do I do this, go crazy with this beat?
Everyday you can feel me; just leave it up to me

Crazy, just listen to the music
Crazy, and just go wild
Slowly, this is the end for you
From this moment, I am your Anystar

The lights illuminate, the feet move away, and I slowly walk out
With your lips shaking, your eyes blazing, I flow without even knowing how

Tonight I can be deep

Yes, yes, you make me hot I’m on the stage burning it up
In the moment our eyes met
You and I both stopped crazy tonight
Keep on don't stop I know you want to get with me
In your every movement I fall deeper into you wanna wanna get you

Crazy, take a deep breath and focus on me
Crazy, don't do anything else
Slowly, follow the music and get closer
Tonight, I am your Anystar

Look at me looking at you,
Do whatever is in your imagination

Come close to me babe, make our eyes meet crazy
It’s too late to turn back now
Our story has already started
Feels like my breath has stopped

Oh no my chest feels like bursting
You make me feel like crazy
Crazy, turn the lights off and gaze upon me
Crazy, stop all the games
Slowly, open your eyes and gaze upon me
Tonight, I am your Anystar

Shake your body, stop your body, can’t you slowly feel something happening?
Yell out, louder, you get addicted to this now

The lights illuminate, the feet move away, and I slowly walk out
With your lips shaking, your eyes blazing, I flow without even knowing how

2009-09-10T21:45:00.003+08:00

AHHHHH!!! i'm frustrated!!! someone help me! i'm like some loser in front of you. i know i can't win the battle against them. i know. i know. i just want to let out what's inside me! it's .. ARGH! you can practically see me giving out steam! why? WHY?
..

...

...

..

compromise is the way out. i tried my best. i seriously did. i know you'll say no. i'll try even harder. give me time. i love you.

if you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
if you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
get back on feet and think of me, my love will get you home, boy.
my love will get you home.
to hold your hand together, i'll live with you forever.

2009-09-10T20:03:00.003+08:00

9 September 2009 (09/09/2009)

this is some random photos of us with Ruby. both of us holds a secret! HEHE!! this cannot be known to anybody. it's always so fun to go out with her. tomorrow, going to east coast park with Janet and YiZhen. miss YiZhen so much! we're going to take lots and lots, tonnes and tonnes of photos with the both of them.

don't we look like we're at Bali? :D

this is the funny way of us showing one!

isn't this photo so cute?! we look so nerd!

`i miss you. do you miss me too?

2009-09-06T12:36:00.002+08:00

MUZIK - 4MINUTE

this is the girl band that we're currently listening to. so our blog song will be change to this too! this song is nice! hehe!

2009-09-04T23:59:00.000+08:00

THE KUKU'S DATE! :)
firstly, we're sincerely sorry that we couldn't make it in the morning for the surprise for Janet!
now, our day. so, we went to interview with QiPing and yes, he have to go down another day. so we walked down to Cathay to catch 'The Proposal'. SWEAR! it's a damn awesome movie, made us laugh till the very end! we continued to work upwards, towards town. then we decided to go to east coast. so we bus-ed down. we had mac for dinner. this guy-HENG QI PING! his jokes, need some time to process before thinking that it is funny. so our reaction, you can guess, it's the damn blank out face. after dinner, we went to take a scroll at the beach. the moon tonight is beautiful! he gave us our overdue birthday present. it was nice. we're such silly girl! cried immediately! then we played sparklers! it's so fun! CAN?! he said us like small kids! it's fun, OKAY! he said he's going to learn how to ride a bicycle. complete our ideal drama scene! YEAH!we went back home, and we packed bean curd home for family! happy happy!

saturday-school to help senior for experiment
sunday-going town with cousin
monday-going school for briefing/maybe meeting too
tuesday-Qi Ping house
wednesday-not confirm, out with Ruby,Vivian
thursday-east coast with classmates
(looks pack? this is just the start! there's more to come! DEFINITELY!)

2009-09-04T01:38:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! JANET LAU SHAN XIU!

this girl, she's our friend. we first met her when we were in secondary 1. we were classmates back then. we don't actually remember how we get close to each other, but yes. we became good friends and buddies! she's always been there for us for all this years. we always have problem, we'll definitely tell her. she's like the person you ever want to meet in your life. yes! she's a good friend of ours, and forever will be!

even though we're kinda of blur person, but we'll try to help you in any ways we can do! we definitely can. as times goes, we'll age. we promise we'll be there to age with you! (romantic, right?) just want to say WE LOVE HER! and hope she has a happy day. we'll definitely meet you soon! no worries! :)

the second year

(probably, this photo is super old! we manage to find one.)

the third year

(this is the montage photo)

the fifth year

(this is the most recant one. at the botanic garden)

* we had a hard time finding the photos too! we shall take non stop during the holidays! then we'll have abundance of photos!

2009-09-01T12:50:00.002+08:00

TOMORROW MARKS THE DAY OF RELEASE.
tomorrow is the day that we're going to end our exams! which is way too awesome! really love to relax and relax! the worst thing that happened to us is that we're sick! like SICK! totally no mood to study for yesterday's paper. but in the end, it turn out to be okay! splendid work for microbiology, even though not sure whether will score, but at least we did well in that condition! :) tomorrow is the last paper, cell biology. this is freaky, we can say. it's very hard to get it in, but have to pour everything in! YEAH! :( let's do it, BABY!
rain makes the day so blue.

2009-08-27T00:14:00.002+08:00

PHOTOS OF YOU AND US.
we were revising on our paper tomorrow, got kinda of bored and start to look at the pictures. and we were granted by our sister to use for a while, so have to be quick.
the photos. we don't know how to explain this. we first got to know you in China, when we both went to the trip together. the following year, we were in the same class. our relations got better and we became intimate friends. we shared almost everything, the laughter and the secrets. till something happened in the subsequent months that made our relations drop to the pit hole. we were feeling bad then, seriously. it's always so awkward to see and talk to you at that time. until we thrashed things out in the class chalet, our problems were solved and explained. but it can never be like the past anymore. there's already a damage there, even if it heals, there's always a scar.
what we want to convey across is that we really want back the relations we had back then. if you happen to pass by and see this, don't take it to heart. it's just our recalls of the past with the photos.
photos is the hard copy of memories. even so, the memories we had in our brains can never be replaced by the photos.

2009-08-25T01:21:00.002+08:00

MY BIRTHDAY.
now i'm officially 17 at this very moment in my life. which is a half bad or a half good thing, it's very hard to define one of them. it's my birthday and it clashes with my exams. wonderful, isn't it?
this is my first year celebrating my birthday on my own. i know it may sound a bit sad.. okay! it's not a bit! it's a LOT! i admit i had started crying since 2330. i also don't get it why. i just couldn't stop. when i receive people's wishes, i cry even more! like as if i can cry a river out! okay! i'm those people who can be moved just by a simple small thing, that's it! accept it! my girl! i must understand, it's exam period! everyone is not free including me! okay! just get over it! it's still so.. so sad! okay! i'll get over it!
..

..

..

..

okay! i just simply can't get over it!

2009-08-18T13:00:00.001+08:00

HOT ISSUE - 4 MINUTE

this is the song that we listen when we're studying. we know it sounds ridiculous, but this is how it works! it's a nice song. we're going to learn the dance! Hahahah!

2009-08-10T23:32:00.002+08:00

HAPPY DAYS.
these few days been so fast for us. until we couldn't remember that we have a report due tomorrow. seriously, had so much fun this two weeks! with the 4E2 people especially! they fulfilled our wish of going to botanical garden! how sweet was that?! important part here is that we sent Apichaya off. she came back specially to see us! so sweet!~
yesterday was nation's birthday! and we celebrated our god-father's (uncle) birthday. the family got the chance to get together and sit down for a chat. we took some photos too! wait till we're free to upload them.
today, we met QiPing(boy) today. so we went to the cathay to watch Harry Potter. we know we may be slow, please don't blame us! this is like the only time we could find. after the movies, we went to walk around and shop. we're like so broke that we can't buy anything! boy bought us a rose and we bought some phone keychains! we got this pair of cuties! so cute! we have the same! hehe! we had dinner and boy sent us home!

2009-07-28T12:32:00.002+08:00

TOILET!
been so busy doing our independent studies with our friends. this is so extremely cool and fun! probably is we're doing something about toilet which is like so gross? it's a new challenge and explore.
i'm afraid i may not be in the same world as you anymore. will i be with you till the end?

2009-07-26T16:57:00.002+08:00

NOBODY(ENGLISH)-WONDERGIRLS

why out of a sudden, this song? we happened to listen to it yesterday on brother's phone. our sister ans us find the lyrics kind of funny. just this a bit. maybe we're so used to listen to the Korean version. this song been listening to it close to a year, long, isn't it? they really look so pretty! we want to learn how to make-up till like this! it's going to take us long to learn, but we will! definitely! all the best to Wondergirls for their entrance to USA! :)

2009-07-25T14:44:00.002+08:00

DISAPPEARANCE.
we thought you'll always be there for us when we need you. but you're not! we understand that you may be busy, but you can always reply us saying you're busy at that moment of time. what you said in the past was just what friends are 'supposed' to say. don't tell us something you can't fulfill it. we utterly hate this kind of people! we thought you'll be one of the good friends that we will have till the days when we old. we doubt our stand now. may be you're just one of those friends that can only share the happiness and glories. it's our mistake. good bye. our 'good' friend.
now we're back to the days where we keep every single thing in our heart and mind. we thought we could again trust humans as to bring in them into our life. we're all wrong. we knew it's going to turn out like this, why did we even try it at the very start?

2009-07-18T17:50:00.004+08:00

AWAITING FOR THE RAINBOW.
looks like it's going to rain again. probably it'll only rain in the night, without the sun around. the night is lonely and wanted to cry? without the sun, we won't get to see the rainbow. so why are we still awaiting for? we know we won't get to see it, why we're so silly to continue waiting? rainbow symbolise hope. that's what we're awaiting for all this while. does it mean that we won't be able to see hope? we'll continue to await for the rainbow.
will you be with me to await for the rainbow? will you be with me to see the rainbow?

taken from photobucket.com

2009-07-16T12:01:00.003+08:00

MATHS TUTORIAL.

suddenly saw this song when our friend is listening to it. made us feel like putting it on. this song is full of memories of all time. the song probably quite true of what we're feeling now. we don't know. the ou de yang song that we always sing and sing till we cried, it has the same effect. we know that it's weird to sing till we cry, but the truth is, our tears can never be controlled. so HAPPY HAPPY!

we're living a happy and blissful life now, we're content with what we have. what we want is endless, so we chose to let it be. we chose to go after what we want, with all the might and energy.

i'm lost agin. i wish to find the correction fluid that will mend everything back to norm. i wish to have it, to erase all the things that i did wrongly. i know i'm not the important part of your life. i'm lost again. i'm lost in my world again. i'd lost to my own imagination and delusion. i wish i was a saint. everything will be fine. it's the incubation period.

2009-07-13T15:58:00.003+08:00

HAPPY/WORRIED GIRL.

we're happy cause our friend CaiHong helped us tied our hair today, which makes us look so nice. we got back the mushroom hair while our hair was tied. so pretty! happy happy!
we're worried cause our boy is going to see the doctor later, which he was supposed to see it like a few days back. so today, he'll visit the doctor with his mum. may god bless everything is fine!

2009-07-11T13:15:00.003+08:00

good bye my love
我的爱人再见
good bye my love
相见不知哪一天
我把一切给了你
希望你要珍惜
不要辜负我的真情意
good bye my love
我的爱人再见
good bye my love
从此和你分离
我会永远永远
爱你在心里
希望你不要把我忘记
我永远怀念你温柔的情
怀念你热红的心
怀念你甜蜜的吻
怀念你那醉人的歌声
怎能忘记这段情
我的爱再见
不知哪日再相见
---music---
good bye my love
我的爱人再见
good bye my love
从此和你分离
我会永远永远
爱你在心里
希望你不要把我忘记
我永远怀念你温柔的情
怀念你热红的心
怀念你甜蜜的吻
怀念你那醉人的歌声
怎能忘记这段情
我的爱再见
不知哪日再相见
我的爱我相信
总有一天能再见
----end----

歌词来自：http://lrc.aspxp.net/lrc.asp?id=256477&id1=228175&t=lrc&ac=dl

dear humans out there, please don't think that we're some old people. it's just that this song is now currently in our brains. it's a super nice song. you guys should listen to this. Heng QiPing! this is the song that we wanted to sing to you! YOU! cause us don't have the feeling to sing you this nice song!

(choir people, you guys should remember this.)

2009-07-09T22:20:00.002+08:00

STANDARD.
what's the definition of it? what does that person mean when he/she tells you: "you're not performing up to standard." should we, humans always live in other people's so-called standard, or should we live in our own set of standard? it's a good question to ponder, isn't it?

2009-07-05T18:17:00.002+08:00

DON'T SAY GOODBYE - DBSK

I can’t read your feelings since you try not to meet eyes with me,
Because I feel like a lost child, I just wait

Truthfully, I know what you’re going to say,
But I can feel that it’s not your whole heart; your tears tell me

Don’t say goodbye,
I can hear your heart telling me not to let go of your hands,
I can hear you heart; You still just want me,
You can’t hide it, you can’t lie

I won’t allow it - your lie of wanting to separate,
Look in my eyes and tell me,
It’s not…it’s not the truth

Don’t say goodbye,
I can hear your heart telling me not to let go of your hands,
I can hear your heart; Even if the world turns its back on us; Even if it’s a painful love,
You are my love, you are my soul

Don’t say goodbye, don’t leave me now,
The promises we’ve shared is everything to me

Don’t say goodbye, you are my everything to me,
My tired days only look for you,
Like a pond which won’t dry, I’ll love you,
You are my love, you are my soul

Don’t say goodbye, you are the only one for me,
As if nothing has happened, if today passes,
Let’s not let go of each other, and we’ll make it through,
Cause you are my everything to me,
Cause you are my everything to me

Credits: ginaaax3@soompi

isn't this song looks so sad? sorry we couldn't find the music to place it here to listen. it's a super nice song. the melody is nice and the song was sang with feelings, you can defintely feel it. don't say goodbye. don't say goodbye to me. i'll feel like a lost child.

2009-07-05T18:14:00.002+08:00

FIRST TIME WE FEEL GUILTY FOR NOT STAYING!
we were guilty, don't know when this feeling going to go away. ARGH!! we're just insane in mind, don't care what we're talking.

2009-06-27T13:24:00.003+08:00

TWIN SISTER!

suddenly have the inspiration to write about our twin sister - SiYing. this girl, couldn't exactly remember where and when did we get to know her. we bet was during choir when we were secondary one. our memory is failing us. we got into the same class in secondary three, we studied the same subject combination. it was great to be classmates with her. the two years with her, probably we learnt lots from her. probably she's the one that made me have the urge to study. really must thank her for that, otherwise we doubt we could be in there. she is a great friend of us. we had lots of fun and joy talking to her. she made us feel peaceful talking to her. she's definitely a nice girl. SUPER NICE GIRL! we always felt the same way, that made us the twins. lots of things we feel the same and do the same. probably she is the more quiet part of us, and we're the more noisier part of her!
thank you for always being there and there. when we're always in doubt, we'll consult you! sorry for all the trouble that comes along. YEAH! SISTER!

(probably this is the only photo we can find, next time we take lots of photos together, okay?)

2009-06-22T13:24:00.002+08:00

TIME TO STUDY NOW!!
we had been playing for the past two weeks of holidays, and we have to start to study again! what's this?! this is going to be bad. we have to make sure we did everything, which we don't even know what are the things we're supposed to do! this is MAD!
my life is complex again. i don't know what's the reason for it, i hope it's just .. i don't wish to be affected by your speech and all. i really hate it! i don't want to break into tears again. can i do it?

2009-06-07T15:23:00.002+08:00

HOLIDAYS~
actually the holidays ain't like one. we still need to go back to school almost everyday. it doesn't make any difference. our days seems to be pack to the max. we're just tired, at least we don't need to wake up early everyday, which is goody! that makes us a happy girl! more sleep=happy girl! yes! we're going to cut our hair during the holidays, probably not much drastic change. so, don't anticipate much!

2009-06-04T10:16:00.002+08:00

i got my blood test results. i'm sad over it, or say i'm worried. i'm afraid of things that may be coming. my great fear. i have to go through the vaccination to see whether i have the ability to absorb the antibodies. if it fails, i think it's really not up to me to choose anymore. i don't want it to happen. i want to continue in this. finally i find something i'm passionate about, i may need to give up. i don't want! I REALLY DON'T WISH TO GIVE UP!

2009-05-31T16:22:00.002+08:00

THE LAST DAY OF MAY
it's been so fast. don't know what we're going through at first, till now, totally into the life we're having. perhaps the pressure is something that we can't shake off, so shall adapt with it and move on. that's how it's suppose to be. that makes the world goes round without fail - change. embrace changes.
next week the last week of school. three weeks of holidays, which are not meant to be. cause we have to study double hard for the test. nothing must go wrong. success, no failure.
who moved my cheese? shall i say, did my cheese run out, or i didn't go and look for them. the constant search for cheese, maybe i shall search for new cheese too. forget about the old, embrace the new. since the old already chose to abandon me in eternity, i shall find my new in eternity.
that's all, friends.

2009-05-22T22:59:00.002+08:00

my life is in a havoc now. i don't know why i became like this. i lost everything in me. i don't know how do i live the life with myself. i'm clueless now. i want to be myself, but the society and the people don't allow me to. i'm just tired of it. i wish i could escape to somewhere, but i can't. i just can't. i have to face it and find myself back. the true self. where have you gone? to the eternity? will i be able to find you back? i don't know. someone. wake me up from this sleep.

2009-05-19T15:37:00.002+08:00

A DAY IN THE LAB.
so today's first lesson was practical. so its like so cool. we're preparing our DNA samples for our next practical. so here ends our first practical. then we wentto the other lab to count the collonies of our prepared sample yesterday. count till we almost died! it's like the whole things is countless! pray to god we don't have to do this again!

2009-05-17T15:03:00.000+08:00

RISING SUN - TVXQ
[Micky]
Now. I cry under my skin..
My tears have gone to the skies and made the rain
That falls onto the earth and washes my newly imprinted pain

[Max] No!
[U-Know] Forgivness is an endless luxury of mine
[Max] No!
[U-Know] My anger has flown off without target and lost its way
[Max] No!
[U-Know] I pray for atonement with words of attachment
[Max] No!
[U-Know] Here I go come back

[Xiah]
My wings have lost their strength
And the days only seem to be filled with sin
I'm greeted with fragments of my poisonous dreams in the morning
There's no sparkle

[Hero]
Truth is what everyone wants
But they only show lies on their faces
I've been abandoned in eternity, are they looking for me?

Chorus: [All]
Be like me
My heart is filled with a growing Innocence
Like a flame burning brightly,
Like the last radiant sunset
(I'm) waiting for Rising Sun

[Micky]
Now, burn my eyes,
Sun comes up, blowing the fog
Never lies, to be your mind
Got to be a true

[U-Know]
Realizing that my path is 101,
I can't reach reality.
So that I won't be shy next to the Sun,
I just try to be me, and now

[Max] Where's the end to this chaos?
[Hero, Xiah] Somebody talks.. its not the same answer everyday
[Max] Desire, Is it the sketch of happiness?
[Hero, Xiah] Somebody talks.. but it's not the solution to the moment

[Xiah]
Life's like star trailing after an endless orbit
[Hero]
You go looking for questions and solutions,
Drawing an incomplete picture
[Max]
(Do) you know why?

[Micky]
Time is always passing by
And I know that it can't ever come back
Don't leave regrets day after day...
Try to swallow the anger spawn from poison

[Max]
Try to believe the worth of happiness
That you realize in the tears of your worn out sadness

[U-Know]
A kiss on the hand of trials,
My innonence has bloomed in the garden of suffering
There's nothing set in stone because a new day will keep coming

Chorus, *
[U-Know] Rise up! Rise up!

Credits: ^cute_steph^ @ Asianfanatics forum

how we wish we can be like the song. have the courage to move forward in all kinds of situations. this world, every body's face is full of lies, but everyone desires for truth. why? why human must be so contradicting? i'm sick and tired of these people in my life. but i'm slowly becoming one of them. in this way, i won't get hurt. don't everybody think so too? but one day you'll get tired of wearing the mask. by that time, what shall we do? or shall we say there may be even the possibility that the mask becomes you, and you lost your true self. will that day ever come? if that happens, what to do to get the true self back? everyday awaits for the rising sun, symbolise the start of new day. I've been abandoned in eternity, are they looking for me?

2009-05-14T17:05:00.002+08:00

I GOT THE CUP, BUT IT'S NOT MINE!
today's lessons are quite relaxing, it's kinda of good. we ate mac for the cup, but the cup is for our cousin. it's okay! we're cool about it! today cell biology lesson was really short, cause lecturer said we're ahead of schedule. once he finish teaching the lesson probably by next week, we don't have to attend his lectures for this term. so good, right? so we have quite an amount of time to study. now, we're at toa payoh. we came here to activate our ez-link card and buy the train concession. going to buy our favourite bubble tea later! HAPPY GIRL! :)

2009-05-13T21:34:00.002+08:00

today,we were thinking of something that make us wonder. why do we do so much things when eventually we'll leave this world and no people will remember you ever existed on this fucked up world. you will know that you will eventually die in your life. in accidents, diseases, virus infections, or old age. all ways you can think of to die. so what gives us the motivation to live on? human are afraid of death, but they jolly well know it's going to come one day. why?

2009-05-12T23:32:00.002+08:00

BIG THANK YOU TO JANET LAU!!
why are we thanking her? of course there's a reason for it. after lecture today, we went to find Janet at food court 5 with her vietnam friend. so we sat down and talk before deciding to buy subway. so we ate and all. she accompanied us to the student union room. we were asked to moberly, and she accompanied us too for the results! we're in the finance!! just as what we wanted! so happy about it. so that makes us a HAPPY GIRL! Janet waited for us while we had some mini meeting. there were Sara - finance department senior. she's really a nice person! and YongLing and ZhiHuan with us on finance. having lunch with them this friday afternoon. don't know whether still able to make it to meet Janet and Derrick, cause this boy still couldn't confirm! after that went to find her and we went to the library to pass our sister the lappy. so Janet and us explored the new place in the library that we never went before in our life! it's so cool! but the toilet is just so inaccessible! then we made our way home.
it's really nice to be with the old friends. feel so easy and comfortable. how we wish we could stay at that point of time. but we have to move on. embrace changes. it's the way of life.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KATSUHITO!!

2009-05-12T15:44:00.002+08:00

TODAY IS THE DAY!
we're in class now. currently don't have any feeling to do any research. totally sick and tired about research! RESEARCH! RESEARCH! and.. RESEARCH! this is getting on our nerves! we have to make it our friends, so we'll be good at it. 摸清它的底糸！sorry if we wrote that word wrongly. kinda of took some time to find the right word. Ohya! we just said today is the day. today is the day. today is the day.. which the results will be out for our interview. kinda of nervous over that. don't know what it'll be. we'll be back with the results. so now.. Tata!~

2009-05-10T23:10:00.002+08:00

some times, i question my purpose of life. what make me go so far all these years. i always thought that i do have a real purpose for life. nowadays, I'd been thinking. why do i put myself in such a pressure? all the unknowing stress that comes to me. i don't know. maybe all these years the only thing that motivate me was my sister. betting my sister is my only desire. but now, it's all different. the only thing that keep me going now is to complete my sister's and my dream - to enter the medical school. another thing to keep me going is to make my parents proud. i want to make them happy.
what's my purpose of life?

2009-05-09T19:53:00.002+08:00

NEW UPDATES.
yesterday was a nice and good day. early in the morning, we went school with our sister, and started our maths lesson, followed by the organic and inorganic chemistry. the whole class was so listless. this kind of thing always happen on friday.
after lesson, met Kim and we went to find Janet. Janet's laptop got some problem with downloading the software, so went to book the slot. the three of us were having lots of fun with the msn 5s mini video thingy! it's damn interesting and fun! we had lots of fun and it's so nice and relaxing to be with the old friends.
after that, we went to the cca showcase again. walked around and we chose our ccas. Kim and us chose fencing. Janet and Andrina chose the thai boxing. Andrina came down to school to change the day of training despite the fact that she's sick. meanwhile when they went home to take something, i went for the student union(SPSU) interview. it was kinda of scary! imagine you face ten over people?! the chairman is our sister's friend. after the interview waited for them to return and did the registration for the cca.
after this, Kim went home. the three of us went to bugis for dinner. we went to find BiBi and HoiYing to chat before dinner. we went to some hong kong restaurant. at the food was okay and we chatted there too. we were as usual, eating the slowest even though our food was the first to come. then we went to j.co to sit, cause Andrina wanted some ice-cream. we continued chatting over there for like two hours and went home.
so we went to find Ruby and Andre at the new shopping centre. they were indeed still so funny! let us ask something.
八毛加八毛的一半，是多少？
we debated for this for the entire night. Andre and us were in the same team, Ruby was another. so we started calling people and we won the debated with 11:7. HAH!! we know it sound ridiculous, but yes! we DID called FIFTEEN people.
so people. what's your answer. it's $1.20 or $0.80?

2009-05-07T09:26:00.002+08:00

AN EXCITING AND HAPPY DAY!
so yesterday, was indeed quite a day. lectures starting at 8 in the morning and all continues. in the noon, went to the cca showcase with Kim, Janet and her friend. it was just full of humans! plus the weather was god damn HOT! walked a few rounds and rounds, watched some performances too. then it was time for Janet and us to go for our very first KOREAN class! Kim went home first, cause her lesson start at 5. we were slightly late for the lesson. it was interesting and fun! learnt the vowels and consonants and some words. SO COOL!! next lesson onwards, we're going to sit at the front. :) so we can see and hear properly. walked to the subway with Janet and waited for our sister to come and boarded the train.
oh ya! we decided to join the student union in SP! need to prepare all the stuff and interview.
now we have to go for maths tutorial now. Bye!

2009-05-05T14:21:00.002+08:00

CURRENTLY IN CLASS. PROCESSING..
so we're currently in class waiting for the lecturer to get her stuff before we start. so we shall take this great chance to blog! today we're going to sleep for all we want! otherwise our eyes will swell tomorrow morning. we'll look so unglamorous by then, plus it's so uncomfortable! tomorrow is going to be our first Korean lesson! GOD DAMN EXCITED! we'll be able to learn Korean! KOREAN! AHHHHH!!! thank god that Janet is taking the course too, so we'll have a friend! actually our sister and her friend should be in the same class as us, cause we chose the same time slot. we shall see..